Luxury Lagos Living: Crystal House Shortlets Await!
Okay, buckle up, because this isn't your average, dry travel review. We're diving headfirst into the Lagos luxury experience, Crystal House Shortlets style. And let me tell you, after my recent stay? I'm still processing it. It was…a lot.
SEO & Metadata (Don't worry, I'll get back to the chaos):
- Title: Crystal House Shortlets Lagos Review: Luxe or Letdown? My Honest Take!
- Keywords: Crystal House Lagos, luxury shortlets, Lagos accommodation, Nigeria hotels, accessible hotels Lagos, best Lagos restaurants, Lagos spa, pool Lagos, Lagos family hotels, Lagos internet, Lagos secure, Lagos room service, things to do Lagos.
- Description: A brutally honest and detailed review of Crystal House Shortlets in Lagos, Nigeria. Covering accessibility, dining, amenities, and the overall experience – warts and all! From the glorious pool to the (sometimes questionable) service, I spill the tea.
The Arrival & First Impressions (and a small existential crisis):
Okay, so I'd been eyeing Crystal House for a while. The glossy website? Photoshopped perfection. The promise of "luxury Lagos living"? Siren song. I'd booked a suite, expecting… well, something that felt like a James Bond movie set. Stepping out of the airport transfer (smooth, thankfully – Airport transfer: Check) and into the lobby… it was impressive. Definitely. Gleaming marble, a chandelier that could probably fund a small charity, and staff members who looked like they'd stepped straight out of a fashion magazine. (Doormen: Check - although, I'm not sure what they did. Stare? Look good? Either way, check).
But… there was a faint smell of… something. Perfume? Disinfectant? A subtle combination of both? It hung in the air, a constant reminder that this wasn't just a hotel; it was a carefully curated experience. (I'm starting to wonder if this is because I'm just naturally hard to impress. I might need to bring my own standards to this hotel).
Accessibility (Because real life isn't always airbrushed):
Wheelchair accessible: The website claims it's accessible. And, to be fair, there is an elevator (Elevator: Check). However, hallways felt a little tight, and some areas, like the pool deck, seemed to require a bit of navigating. I'd definitely contact them directly before booking to confirm specifics.
Facilities for disabled guests: Listed that there are Facilities for disabled guests: Check.
The Room - A Symphony of Shiny Surfaces & Slightly Questionable Design Choices:
My suite was… big. Really big. (Extra long bed: Check). It had a massive bed (extra long bed), a seating area (seating area), a desk (desk), and a bathroom bigger than my first apartment (private bathroom), with a bathtub (bathtub) and a separate shower (separate shower/bathtub). The decor? Well… let's just say it leaned heavily into "modern luxury." Blackout curtains (check) were essential for blocking out the Lagos sun. The Internet (Internet Access – wireless: Check) was generally reliable (thank God, because how else would I have survived?), and the air conditioning (Air conditioning: Check) was a lifesaver.
Now, about the details… One minor issue? The lighting. It felt like a disco. And the placement of the power outlets? Where were they?! One was practically behind the bed (socket near the bed: check), requiring a contortionist act to plug in my phone.
I did appreciate the thought behind the in-room safe box (In-room safe box:Check) and the complimentary bottled water (Free bottled water: Check), but by the time I actually got into the room everything was a little bit of a blur of shiny surfaces.
Dining – A Culinary Adventure (with a few potholes):
- Restaurants: There are restaurants. Plural. (Restaurants: Check). The main one, the "Crystal Dining Room," offered a buffet (Buffet in restaurant: Check) – international, Asian, and local dishes. Breakfast (Breakfast [buffet]: Check) was a particular highlight, even if the coffee was… weak. Very weak. And the a la carte options were good, though I'm now convinced I have a food allergy.
- Coffee Shop: There's a coffee shop. (Coffee shop: Check). It serves… coffee. And pastries. It's fine.
- Room Service: (Room service [24-hour]: Check) 24 hours! I ordered a burger at 3 AM one night. Ambitious. The burger arrived, eventually. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly a gourmet experience. More like a survival mechanism for a late-night craving.
- Poolside bar: Yes, there's a poolside bar. Poolside bar: Check It's a great place to order a cocktail and lounge by the pool.
- Vegan, Vegetarian and Alternative Meal Arrangement: Yes, they have options for your dietary needs. Alternative meal arrangement: Check.
- Food Delivery: They had the option for food delivery. Food delivery: Check.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax – Where Crystal House Shines (Mostly):
Okay, this is where Crystal House really gets its act together.
- Swimming Pool: The outdoor pool is as stunning as it looks in the photos. (Swimming pool: Check, Pool with view: Check). It’s huge, the water's a perfect temperature, and the views are chef's kiss. Pure bliss.
- Fitness Center: (Gym/fitness: Check). It's well-equipped. I didn't go. (I'm on vacation. Why would I?!)
- Spa: (Spa: Check). I did go to the spa. And this is where things get really good. I had a massage (Massage: Check). A fantastic massage. Heavenly. The masseuse was skilled, attentive, and made me feel like a limp noodle in the best possible way. The spa itself is gorgeous – tranquil, and beautifully designed.
- Sauna: (Sauna: Check). I don’t do saunas. So I cannot comment on the sauna.
- Steam Room: (Steamroom: Check). Again, I don’t do steam rooms.
- Body Scrub/Body Wrap: (Body scrub, Body wrap: Check). The spa is a solid win.
Cleanliness & Safety – The COVID-19 Era (and the constant feeling of being watched):
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check, Check.
They seem to be taking COVID-19 precautions very seriously. Which is both reassuring and, at times, a little… intense. I felt like I was being sanitized more than I was actually living. But hey, better safe than sorry, I guess.
- Security: Security is everywhere. This included CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Front desk [24-hour], Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things (That make a big difference):
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Check. The Wi-Fi was generally strong.
- Cash withdrawal: There is ATM in the building. Cash withdrawal: Check.
- Concierge: They had a concierge. Concierge: Check I never used them.
- Laundry service: Of course, there is laundry service. Laundry service: Check I never used it.
- Daily housekeeping: Daily housekeeping: Check. The room was always spotless.
- Air conditioning in public area: Check.
- Convenience store: Check.
The Good, the Bad, and the Slightly Bizarre:
- The Good: The pool, the spa, the (mostly) friendly staff, the comfortable beds.
- The Bad: The occasional design choices, the inconsistent food quality, the sometimes-slow service.
- The Bizarre: The sheer number of security personnel. The faint smell of… whatever that was. The feeling that I was constantly being observed.
Final Verdict:
Crystal House is a mixed bag. It's luxurious, yes, but not without its quirks. Is it worth the price? That depends. If you prioritize a stunning pool, a fantastic spa, and a general sense of exclusivity, then maybe. If you're looking for absolute perfection, or if you're easily bothered by slight imperfections, you might want
Unbelievable Bangalore Luxury: Hotel Empire International Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's perfectly-planned travel itinerary. This is me, navigating the vibrant chaos that is Lagos, Nigeria, from the supposedly luxurious comfort of Crystal House Shortlets. And let's just say, things are gonna get REAL.
Crystal House Chronicles: Lagos, My Way (and Possibly Wrong)
Day 1: Arrival and a Crash Course in "African Time" (and Possibly, Bed Bugs?)
Morning (ish): Landed at Murtala Muhammed International Airport. Let the record show, the air conditioning was… optimistic at best. Picture sweating buckets while trying to decipher the customs forms. Victory! (Eventually). Then, the pre-booked airport transfer. Now, I'm usually a chill traveler, but the driver was a speed demon. Lagos traffic is legendary, and he treated it more like a personal race track. The horn, oh god, the horn! It's a language all its own - a combination of "Move!", "Get out of my way!", and "I am late!", all rolled into one glorious, cacophonous symphony.
Afternoon (ish…again): Finally, Crystal House. Now, the pictures online? Let's just say they were strategically angled. The apartment looked nice enough, but the water pressure? Weak. Like a toddler's attempt at a garden hose. And the Wi-Fi? More like, "Wi-Maybe-If-You're-Lucky-Fi." I have an existential dread of that slow internet. Anyway I just wanted to relax and do nothing…
Evening: Hunger pangs! I ventured out with the best intentions. First stop: Trying to find a shawarma shop. I walked into the store and I saw a man eating shawarma. Now I wanted one, because why not? It was the first day and I had been hungry all day. I got my shawarma and went back to my hotel. The food was tasty, the only problem was that i forgot i am highly allergic to pepper. i spent an hour in the toilet.
Day 2: Market Mayhem and Cultural Overload (a.k.a. Sensory Overload)
Morning: Decided to brave the Lekki Market. I really thought I was prepared, armed with my bargaining skills and a determined glint in my eye. I was SO wrong. The market is a vibrant tsunami of sights, sounds, and smells. The air is thick with the scent of spices, incense, and…well, let's just say you'll get used to the "essence" of Lagos. Negotiating prices? Forget about it. It's a contact sport. Got hustled out of a few thousand Naira for a "genuine" batik shirt. Okay, I know I'm a sucker. But it's so pretty!
Afternoon: Needed a lie down and some solid internet so I tried to get back to my hotel. The traffic was mad!. I felt like i was not going to get to the hotel. So I saw a bus stop where a lot of people were waiting. I asked the driver if he can help me. Without wasting time, he told me to enter. He was kind enough to drop me at my hotel.
Evening: I got some Nigerian Jollof. It was amazing and the best thing i have eaten in my life. I was happy and satisfied.
Day 3: Beach Bliss (or Mosquito Madness?)
Morning: Decided to visit a beach. The sand was nice. I played volleyball. I got sunburnt.
Afternoon: Went back to the hotel and i rested.
Evening: I got a call from the security guard that my keys were missing. Damn it. I looked for it but could not find it. I was so tired. I did not have the energy to look for it.
Day 4: The Lagos Dance
Morning: Called a locksmith to open the door.
Afternoon: Did absolutely nothing cause i was tired, hungry, and angry.
Evening: Ordered Jollof and went to bed.
Okay, so, Crystal House. Sounds swanky. But...is it *actually* luxurious, or just, you know, Lagos-luxury-aspirational? Like, does the tap water *actually* look clean?
Alright, let's be real. Lagos luxury has a certain… *je ne sais quoi*. It's not always consistent. But Crystal House? Okay, *mostly* luxurious. Look, no, the tap water isn't *sparkling* Fiji water. But I've brushed my teeth without, you know, immediate existential dread. The pressure’s surprisingly decent too, which is a win in itself. The apartments? Generally, yes. They've got the fancy fittings, the sleek designs. However, during my last stay, the 'smart' TV kept randomly switching to *Zee World* at 3 AM. I swear, I woke up convinced I was living a soapy, melodramatic life. And the wifi? Sometimes it's blazing, sometimes… well, you're better off tethering to your phone and praying to MTN. But hey, the furniture’s comfy, and the aircon works. Usually.
Shortlets. Are we talking about sharing a cramped, dusty apartment or something actually...livable? 'Cause I've seen *things* in Lagos shortlets.
Okay, deep breaths. I feel you. Shortlets in Lagos can be… a gamble. Crystal House is usually on the better side of things. They're proper apartments, not just someone’s spare room with a questionable air freshener. You get space, a kitchenette, usually a balcony. I once had a balcony with a *view* of… construction. Lovely. And the kitchenette? Well, it’s functional. Don’t expect Michelin star cooking, but you can definitely whip up some Indomie. (Which, let’s be honest, is sometimes all you *need*). Now, the ‘livable’ part? That depends. I’m a total slob, so for me, it works. If you're a neat freak? Might need some serious tidying up after the cleaning crew. They try, bless them. But perfection? Nah. Still, better than a dodgy hotel room, right?
What about location, location, location? Where exactly *is* this "Crystal House"? And is it safe? (Like, actually safe, not Lagos-safe, which can be… subjective.)
Okay, location. This is crucial. Crystal House locations vary. They have them scattered around. You’ll need to specify which one you're booking. Some are in Lekki, some in Victoria Island. Generally? Good areas. But remember, in Lagos, “good” is relative. Is it the safest place on earth? No. Is it shielded from reality? Also, no. I arrived at one once and the security guard (bless his heart, he was trying) clearly hadn't been briefed. He was asking me where *I* was headed! So, it's up to you to take necessary precautions. The security is *usually* decent, but I always recommend being extra vigilant. Don't flash expensive things, be aware of your surroundings, and for heaven’s sake, lock your doors. Being aware is your best friend. Check with your host for a safety brief. Ask about local crime, etc. It's Lagos, so be street smart, and you should be fine.
House Keeping and Amenities. How well maintained are they? I'm not looking for a hotel experience as much as I want a home.
Alright, so, 'home' is a great ambition. Expect the experience to be more apartment than hotel. The house keeping? They mean well! It's not immaculate, you've got to be reasonable. Sometimes the cleaning crew appears, sometimes...they don't. They’re on a schedule, but life happens. I'm not sure, but I think they leave their own messages from time to time; you know, the cleaning fairy just isn't the real deal, and what you see is what it's like. Amenities are a mixed bag. Some units have gyms and pools, some don't. Check what’s included *before* you book. And the pool? Often beautiful, but sometimes… under-maintained. One time, there were more leaves than water. It was a vibe, I guess. But if you're expecting pristine perfection? Lagos, honey. Temper your expectations. It's usually a good thing if you're not too demanding. Plus, if you ask nicely, hopefully they can sort it out, I'd imagine.
Is the price worth it? Lagos is expensive, period. How does Crystal House stack up against other options?
The million-dollar question (or, depending on your definition of "luxury," the five-figure question). Is it "worth it"? That depends entirely on your budget and priorities. Crystal House, on paper, promises a higher quality stay than a budget hotel. Sure, it is. Are they expensive? Yes, it's Lagos. If you’re on a shoestring, look elsewhere. But if you want something a bit more comfortable, a bit less 'rustic," and don't mind paying a bit extra for the privilege, then you can compare the price. Compare it, by all means. Compare the prices to other hotels, other shortlets, and other options. Consider the location, the amenities, and the, let's say, "ambiance." And don't forget to factor in the potential for unexpected *Zee World* marathons at 3 AM. Weigh the pros and cons. Is the price worth the stress-free check in? Is it worth avoiding the dodgy hotel? Is it worth getting your laundry done? If you want to splurge, fine.
What if something goes wrong? Like, the aircon dies in the middle of the night? What's the support like?
Oh, honey, this is where things get *interesting*. The support… is a work in progress. Ideally, you get a responsive host, a helpful number to call. Sometimes, you *do*. That’s the ideal, the dream. Realistically? You might be dealing with a few hours of frustration. If your aircon dies at 3 AM, be prepared to sweat. Literally. I had a truly special experience once. The water heater gave up the ghost. It was freezing, the weather in January was horrible, and I was expected to make a freezing run to the supermarket. I had to resort to lukewarm water and a hair dryer. It was… memorable. (Actually, it was awful. Don't get me wrong.) Always double-check the contact info *before* you check in. Test everything when you arrive. And have a plan B for the aircon, the water, and the Wi-Fi. Patience is key. And maybe a prayer to the Lagos gods.
What's the vibe? Is it a party atmosphere, or more chill and relaxed? Am I going to be dealing with noise all the time?
The vibe? Again, it varies. You're not going to be getting a constant party. Crystal House is often in residential areas. You'll have the usual Lagos sounds: generators, car horns, maybe some *extremely* loud music. But the complexes themselves are usually quieter. Some units are in more bustling areas, so you might get a bit more noise. Ask aboutDigital Nomad Hotels
