Escape to Paradise: Your 2-Star Beachfront Oasis in Beziers Awaits!
Escape to Paradise? Hold Your Horses! A Review of "Escape to Paradise" (Beziers) - Two Stars & a Sprinkling of Sass
Okay, let's be real. "Escape to Paradise: Your 2-Star Beachfront Oasis in Beziers Awaits!"… that title's a bit ambitious, no? I mean, "oasis" conjures up images of shimmering turquoise waters and personal butlers, not, you know, a perfectly adequate, slightly worn-around-the-edges hotel in Beziers. But hey, I'm game for an adventure, and who am I to judge a book by its (slightly misleading) cover? So, here's the lowdown, warts and all.
First Impressions & Accessibility – Navigating the "Paradise" Path
- Accessibility: Right off the bat, I'll say this: accessibility is a mixed bag. The website touted "Facilities for disabled guests," but details were vague. I saw an elevator (hallelujah!), which is a massive plus. But actually using it felt a bit dicey. You know, those elevators that look like they've been around since the invention of the wheel? It got me to my floor okay, but I'm not holding my breath for a wheelchair-friendly spa experience, you know?
- Getting Around: Car park [free of charge] - YES! That made my life a whole lot easier, seriously. Parking in Beziers is… well, let's just say it's an adventure in itself. And I noticed a Car park [on-site] too, but I didn't bother since I parked for free.
Rooms - The Good, the Bad & the Bidet? (Or Lack Thereof)
- The Room: Okay, the room. Let's start with the positives: Air conditioning (essential in the south of France!), Wi-Fi [free] (always a win!), and a Refrigerator to keep my rosé chilled. The Desk was functional, though I wouldn't call it a "laptop workspace of dreams." More like a "place to prop up your laptop before you inevitably end up working in bed" kind of space. The Free bottled water was a thoughtful touch. The Linens were clean, at least.
- The Quirks: The Bathroom was functional, but a little… dated. Let's say the tiles had character. Definitely no bathrobes (sigh), and the toiletries were the kind you get at the gas station. I'm a sucker for a good bidet. Unfortunately, nothing, nada.
- Noise & Sleep: The soundproofing was decent, but I DO NOT trust the Alarm clock. I slept with a phone and with my own alarm clock.
- A note on the specifics: Every room is supposed to have Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. But let's be real: Some things were missing. My "high floor" (or maybe "highish") room wasn't exactly the Taj Mahal. My Slippers are at home.
- Room Sanitization: I always opt out of room sanitization, mostly out of laziness.
Dining, or the Search for French Flavors (and Sometimes Finding Them!)
- Restaurants & Food – A Mixed Bag of Delights and… Not-So-Delights:
- Breakfast: I’m a breakfast person, and the Breakfast [buffet] was… well, it was there. The Breakfast [buffet] had the essentials, but the ambiance was a little too "airport cafeteria."
- Café: Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop. I'm pretty sure, the café had good coffee.
- Lunch & Dinner: I am not a fan of A la carte in restaurant, but there were Restaurants. I did not dare to eat at the hotel restaurant because I felt like it would be a let down.
- Drinks: Bar, with Bottle of water. Did I mention that I drank my mini-bar?
- Alternative meal arrangement: Not going to happen here.
Things to Do & Ways to Unwind - Paradise Lite?
- Pool: The Swimming pool [outdoor] was a definite plus ! It wasn't exactly the infinity pool of my dreams, but it was clean and refreshing. The Pool with view was nice, not amazing, but nice.
- Spa & Wellness: Now, this is where the "Escape to Paradise" thing gets a little… sketchy. The description says you have Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom. But the spa was closed, or under "renovation"? It was impossible to do a Body scrub, a Body wrap, a Foot bath, a Gym/fitness, a Massage, or go to a Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom. Don't tell lies. I did not even bother.
Cleanliness & Safety - Feeling Secure (Mostly)
- Cleanliness: The rooms themselves were okay, but there wasn't that "squeaky-clean" feeling.
- COVID-19 Precautions: The hotel, it seemed, did its best. Anti-viral cleaning products were used, there was Daily disinfection in common areas, there was Hand sanitizer, and it seemed that the staff was trained in Staff trained in safety protocol.
Services & Conveniences - The Helpful & the "Meh"
- The Good: The concierge was nice and helpful. Daily housekeeping was efficient.
- Services and conveniences: Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Doorman, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, Smoking area, Terrace (though I never used it),
- The "Meh": I saw an Indoor venue for special events, but no one was using it. I'm pretty sure they have the Business facilities, because they want to, no one uses it. The Convenience store seemed pretty useless.
For the Kids
- Babysitting service, and Family/child friendly were advertised, but I can't comment because I don't have kids! If you have kids, this place might be a very bad spot.
Getting Around - Easy Peezy!
- Airport transfer to the hotel but I arrived by car, so I can't tell you if it was any good.
- I had a Car park [free of charge], which made my life easy. Car park [on-site] was available too.
Overall Impression – Paradise? Not Quite. Worth the Price? Maybe.
Look, "Escape to Paradise" isn't a bad hotel. It's perfectly functional. It’s clean enough. And it has a pool. But… it definitely overpromises. The "oasis" vibe is more of a "reasonably priced stay in a charming French town" vibe.
Would I recommend it?
If you're looking for a budget-friendly base for exploring Beziers and the surrounding area, and you don't have sky-high expectations, then maybe. The location is decent. But if you're dreaming of a true escape to paradise, keep searching. This isn't it. I rate this hotel 2 stars.
Unbelievable Menjangan Hill Bali: Photos You WON'T Believe!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your average, meticulously crafted travel itinerary. This is more like… a travel diary, written during the actual travel, with all the glorious, messy, and probably slightly insane reality of it all. And yes, it's centered around a stay at the legendary (or perhaps, legendary-in-its-own-right) Hotel De La Plage 2 etoiles in Beziers, France.
Day 1: Arrival and the Glorious (and Slightly Shady) Hotel De La Plage
- 10:00 AM: Arrived at Béziers airport. Holy Mother of Baguettes, this airport is smaller than my childhood walk-in closet. Found the Hertz car rental. The nice lady with the French accent…she tried to upsell me on some fancy new insurance. I said no. Feel like I won.
- 11:00 AM: The drive to Hotel De La Plage. GPS is telling me to drive through a farm. Pretty. Scenery is worth it.
- 12:00 PM: Checked into the Hotel De La Plage. Okay, first impressions? "Charming" is stretching it. "Dated" and "slightly-like-a-set-for-a-romantic-French-movie-from-the-60s-that-was-filmed-entirely-indoors" feels more accurate. The reception smells faintly of disinfectant and… hope? There's a little French poodle on the reception desk. Maybe it's the hotel's owner? This is going to be an experience.
- 12:30 PM: Room unpack and first reactions. My room overlooks a parking lot but not bad. It's clean-ish. The air conditioning sounds like a dying walrus, BUT the balcony… the balcony could be a game-changer.
- 1:00 PM: Attempting lunch at the Hotel's cafe. My French is, ahem, rusty. Pointing and smiling is the key. Order a croque madam and a caffe latte. And a small glass of wine. The croque madam is… greasy perfection. The coffee is weak. The wine is… perfect. I could get used to lunchtimes like this.
- 3:00 PM: A wander around Beziers. The Canal du Midi is gorgeous, like, legitimately breathtaking. I keep thinking someone will ask me to say the name, but no one does. I take tons of photographs.
- 6:00 PM: Back to the Hotel. Stared at the walrus air-con again. Time to check for other things.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant, "Au Bon Coin." I feel like it's where locals and tourists who read a travel blog go. Found a restaurant. It’s all about the food and the conversation. I had the cassoulet. The cassoulet was dense and full of flavour. The waitress, bless her, spoke just enough English to laugh at my attempts to order. Good people. Felt full of joy.
Day 2: Wine, Walks and (More) Wine
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. It turns out they do croissants! And pain au chocolat. Enough said. Still, the coffee is a struggle. Maybe I'll buy a French press.
- 9:00 AM: Decided to go on a walk. I didn't have a proper schedule. This gave me a chance to breathe.
- 10:00 AM: Wine Time! (Ahem, wine tasting). Went to Domaine de la Colombette. It was utterly amazing!!! The wines were beautiful, plus, I was speaking French! (Okay, mostly a lot of "oui" and pointing, but still!). The guide… he was charming. I might be in love.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at the Domaine. More wine. More eating. More smiling. There's a definite pattern developing here, and I'm not mad about it. The food. Oh God, the food. Cheese, bread, charcuterie… I'm pretty sure my arteries are going to stage a revolt, but I don't care. I don't care at all.
- 3:00 PM: A stroll back to the hotel…or a waddle, more like. This wine is potent stuff.
- 4:00 PM: Back at the hotel. The air-con continues its symphony of wheezes. Found a little balcony chair and watched the world go by.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a place called "Le Petit Bouchon." This place, this TINY little place, was packed. I had some kind of local speciality, whatever it was. The atmosphere was electric. Laughter, clinking glasses, people talking (mostly loudly). This is why I love traveling.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the hotel. I can't stop smiling. The wine. The food. The people. Beziers… you're a sneaky little charmer.
Day 3: A Day of Reckoning…and More Wine
- 9:00 AM: Woken up. The air-con died sometime in the night.
- 10:00 AM: I discover I forgot to book a return flight!!!
- 11:00 AM: Stress-booking a flight home.
- 12:00 PM: More wine. I'm not even kidding. The Hotel staff are incredibly kind/unfazed and they recommend a winery: Abbaye de Fontfroide.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at Abbaye de Fontfroide. The Abbey is gorgeous. The wine is exquisite. I am exquisite. I'm eating a duck confit.
- 3:00 PM: Wandering the grounds of the Abbey. Finding beauty in the stone arches.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the Hotel. Shower. The water pressure is weak. But I don't care. I really don't.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a restaurant I can't remember the name of. French food. More good food. More joy.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the Hotel. Packing to go home. This is the bittersweet part.
Day 4: Au Revoir, Béziers!
- 9:00 AM: Last breakfast at the hotel. Another croissant. A final, mournful, look at the parking lot.
- 10:00 AM: Check out. The poodle is not there, but the receptionist is smiling. Farewell!
- 11:00 AM: Drive to the airport.
- 12:00 PM: Goodbye Béziers. You've stolen a piece of my heart, even the walrus air-con and the slightly confusing hotel. I'll be back. And next time, I'm bringing a French press.
Escape to Paradise: Beziers Edition (Let's Get Real, Shall We?)
Okay, "Paradise"... Really? With Only Two Stars? Spill the Beans.
Alright, alright, hold your horses. "Paradise" might be a *touch* hyperbolic. Two stars? Let's be honest, that's not the Ritz. But! And this is a big but (because apparently the French like their "buts" as much as I do), it's *beachfront*. And that, my friend, changes *everything*. Picture this: You're stumbling out of your, *ahem*, cozy room, coffee in hand (hopefully the coffee maker works - more on that delightful gamble later), and BAM! Sand. Ocean breeze. The scent of sunscreen and salty air. And that, that right there, is pretty damn close to paradise, wouldn't you say? Now, don't expect marble floors and a butler named Jeeves. Think more... charmingly rustic. Think character. (And pray you get a room NOT facing the road. Traffic... oh, the traffic...)
The Rooms. The Dreaded Rooms. What's the Deal?
Okay, the rooms. This is where things get... interesting. I'll be brutally honest (because, you know, two stars): they're smallish. And the decor? Let's call it "functional". Don't expect modern minimalism. Think more, "Grandma's vacation rental in the 80s, but with updated bedspreads." The bed? Could be comfy. Could be a torture device. It's a gamble, people! My advice? Pack earplugs. And maybe a portable fan. Air conditioning? Well, let's just say I sweated through more than a few nights. But again, *beachfront*. You'll be spending most of your time *outside*, right? RIGHT?!
Speaking of *Outside*: The Beach! Is it Worth the Hype?
YES. Absolutely, unequivocally YES. The beach is *the* star of the show. Soft sand, the rhythmic crash of waves, the sun... oh, the sun! I spent hours just staring at the Mediterranean, letting the worries of the world melt away like a scoop of ice cream on a hot August day. (Side note: find an ice cream shop. Important life lesson). The water is crystal clear (mostly). There are vendors selling... well, everything. From beach towels to questionable cocktails. Embrace it! Get a tan line you can actually be proud of. Honestly, I'd crawl over broken glass (maybe not broken glass, that sounds dangerous) to get back there.
Food, Glorious Food! What's the Dining Situation Like?
Okay, this one's a mixed bag. The hotel breakfast? Let's just say I've had breakfasts that were... more inspiring. Think: croissants that seem a little *too* perfect (suspicious!), and coffee that tastes like it was brewed in a rusty pipe (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating). BUT! Beziers itself is a food paradise. Seriously. Tiny cafes, bustling markets, seafood... glorious, glorious seafood! Walk along the beach, find a little *boui-boui* (that's a French term for a small, informal eatery) and order some moules frites. You'll thank me later. Trust me. I'm still dreaming about that.
Okay, But What About... Bugs?
This is a valid concern, folks. And the answer is... yes. There are bugs. Welcome to the coast! Mosquitos are your main enemy. Especially at dusk. Bring repellent. Seriously. Stock up. Don't be a hero. And maybe, just maybe, try not to leave your window open all night like I did. The French seem to love their doors and windows open to the elements, It makes me feel close to nature when I do that, don't you think? And, yes, I paid for it.
Is there a pool?
Nope. No pool. But, seriously, who needs a pool when you've got the Mediterranean Sea at your doorstep? Okay, maybe if it's a particularly windy day... But the proximity to the beach (did I mention it's beachfront?) more than makes up for it. You'll spend most of your time in the ocean anyway. Unless you're a pool person. Then, well... maybe this isn't the place for you.
The Staff: Friendly or Fraught?
The staff were... well, they were *there*. And they were generally polite. English isn't their strong suit (brush up on your French!). But they were clearly working hard. They did what they could. Some were truly lovely. Others... seemed a bit frazzled. Remember, it's a two-star place! Manage your expectations. A smile and a "Bonjour" (or "Bonsoir") goes a long way. And a little patience. And maybe a phrase book. Now, where is my phrasebook? I must know, because I want to have a truly good morning with the staff.
The Verdict? Would You Go Back?
Absolutely, without a second thought. Look, it's not perfect. It's not luxurious. It's two stars, for crying out loud! But it's *beachfront*. And despite the wonky coffee and the questionable decor, the memories I made there (the salty air, the sunsets, the moules frites, the sheer *freedom*) are worth more than any five-star hotel bling. It has a certain charm to it, like that old sweater you can't throw away even though it kind of smells funny. Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Just promise me you'll pack bug spray. And maybe a good book to read on the beach. And maybe, just maybe, I can get a better room!
